serial killer aka salamander king {not very kingly} stalks katie
02.23.02back&
forth
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earlier today i wrote a lot about a dream and a summer and a boy. it meant a lot to get everything out, written, tangible. {i'm giving my computer a great big thumbs up for crashing at the most opportune moments.} i would like to see those words reappear but until then, im left with images of running throught malls trying to find a way out {allegory? anyone?} and not accepting hugs & kisses {regret}, drugs {the dream. ahem.}, long bus rides, talking, listening, feeling so comfortable and good inside. listening to 3dd and the ataris and the grateful dead. and just being compelled to write an email to him, just to say hey. and i didnt give you a hug when we left and i didnt want the pain and i let others influence me {gahhhh}. id really like to get a long email from you, about the summer and everything. its all gone though, and you probably wouldnt after i told you i just wanted to be friends on the pirates of the carribean, where you had your arm around me and you took it away. it was a foreign feeling to be so doted after, or something like that. and that it was public too. it was really embarrassing. i was pretty insecure about things.savor this now, bc im going to delete it. i wish no one would read this bc bc bc.
its nice to know ive changed, at least.
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