pictures on my wall

03.03.02back& forth
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today i wondered if someone had ever written (in) a physcology paper on the use of 'let's' being more friendly bc it really means let us, meaning not only you which induces a friendly attitude.

that's what i do while shoe shopping.

RECAP

monday - school. zoom & redneck sandwiches (shivershiver). reading the bell jar in the library & talking about books with ashley & alisha. playing the entire game against p. got home, got sick. let's (hahahaha) just say i won't be looking at girl scout cookies for a while.

tuesday - nothing left in my stomach. nothing added to it, other than (probably) all those gastric juices we learned about in seventh grade & the muscle diagram that i still, ofcourse, have in my filing cabinets that are ready to fall over when you open one drawer too much.

wednesday - woke up with a desire to go to school and not miss anymore class. bad idea.

thursday - stayed home and felt much better. opened a book (chem).

friday - back at school. waterpolo game. parkas. waterbottles. lanelines. dropping off. having my chest practically riped off. bus rides. and team dinner at caroline's. beautiful. garden. lake. chips & dip. conversation. lauren & allison's forty minute lecture. lanterns. bread. the freshmen. outward bound. laughing. about everything. teacher impressions. brownies. whether i get yelled at or not in waterpolo. smiling. because it felt so good to be healthy and so good to be there.

today - early waterpolo practice & scrimmaging with john - wow - and ray always saying 'yeah katie' whenever he sees me play and scoring a goal on a perfect six on five and staying after and shooting and making all my shots on adam. manicure. score. realizing i really dont like shopping for 'dressy' clothes. feeling that feeling of europeness. gulps of air and quick breaths...uneven. finding the perfect dress at the loft. black and white. going to a&f with tia elida. walking around in a little miniskirt (when was the last time i did that... um, never) & feeling good about myself. laughing at myself. WARM COOKIES from ms fields. going to pf changs and then not and then and then not. chicken kitchen & yuca. watching erin brockovich. being able to sit in bed and type whatever i want.

i have lots of pictures.

i'm not willing to confine my life to something like "i live in the past/present/future" because honestly, i have no idea.

i would like very, very much to find the battery charger for my digital camera so i could take it to the fashion show tomorrow.

i write stories in the moments before sleep. actually, there are always things going on in my head and the wish that i could get those calculator rolls of paper to print out things up there. not bc all my thoughts are so wonderful or anything like that, but bc i want a memory. a record. something tangible.

you know that love/hate relationship. well, its starting to change.


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