diagnosis
05.09.02back&
forth
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he writes his b's starting from the bottom. he is adopted. he doesn't believe in god. he has brown eyes. he listens to x japan. he writes stories or draws pictures when he doesnt know the answer. he gets seasick easily. he's never taken an ap. he doesn't drive very often. he has two sisters. one of them plays middle school waterpolo. he's in technical theatre. he got a really high score on his sat. he doesn't mind sharing his book with me. he can't hear what i say. he doesn't think getting a low grade makes you a bad person. these little facts can't capture the way he looks at me from brown eyes. i cant stand it. i told him to stop giving me those looks today. then i looked at him and he covered his face and said it was the only one he had.
i think he knew i was angry and tired inside.
today i stopped smiling all the time. i just .w.a.s. and someone looked at me and asked if i was okay, because i was acting a little funky today. i'm just a little shaky today, i said. and smiled. well, she laughed, you come find me if you're going to pass our, hopefully before you pass out.
there is this stupid boy who smiles aall the time and i just want to punch him in the teeth. i wonder if others hate my smile like i hate his. maybe, maybe.
i'm going to smile if i want to, and not smile if i don't want to.
there was a talent show at school today. there were violins and punk rock and lots of drums and guitar and some whistling and songs and stand up. it was pretty impressive. (&i smiled every time the spotlights figure eighted and flashed because i knew it was him and he knew i was watching}
{{in five minutes, it will be FRIDAY! i have an ap exam in exactly eight hours}}
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