the speakers can/t make up for what we/re not saying

tired skylines grey days eyes closed i want photos of this. i don/t want to leave you say

the lump in my throat my stomach/s exploding

i/m sick missing you and i/m with you

this is a real place. it/s not fairytale. i feel so. worthless.

you are my home, my country, my family, what i love the most

you open yourself, expose yourself to me. you tell me about saol and roy, the religious differences, what happened to you. you drive that car so fast sweetheart, but i can see your insecurity. you/re putting it on the table and i watch you silently devour my feelings.

I WANT ALL THESE TEARS OUT OF MY SYSTEM.

i want to cry, get it all out. instead of holding everything in, being silent. i/m so tired these days, i miss you mom. i miss you dad. i miss you crazy little brother you. i miss you keys. i miss you jo. i/ll miss you more later.

this is not going to stop hurting.

but i really fucking want it to.

and this is more exposed than ever.

i don/t know what to do about this. i want to swim it all out.

i feel so worthless.

i do so much and none of it matters. i/m so busy, i never stop.

if i/m with people, i/m thinking i want to be elsewhere. like sleeping. i think i just need sleep.

if i/m not with them, i can/t get away from them. they invade my thoughts. especially the people i think i should be friends with, or who should like me, or what the fuck ever.

i/m tired of trying and caring. why doesn/t anyone else?

i/ll be fine. i still haven/t been able to cry. a couple times i get some tears but i don/t let myself.

i miss whitney. i just think of whitney and think how she doesn/t let shit bother her and is just so happy go lucky fun :) god i miss that girl!

that put a smile on my face, anyways.

i always see the best in others. and the worst in myself.


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