first day we/re laughing because i/m not crying everything out like last year, missing the ones that taught me so much. i like my morning, empty stomach sine graphs the old gang is back minus him, a new literature let/s laugh hard because there/s so much pain in my eyes you can/t see. i don/t make mistakes and i think that/s a problem, i keep myself safe and i don/t put up with highschool drama bullshit, i don/t surround myself with it. walking the balance beam between the ideals friendship [what the fuck is that these days] but you made my day today, "she/s the nicest person in the world but i really don/t like her friends..youknow..what they do." and thank you for confirming what i/ve been ignoring and avoiding, i don/t need that, i don/t want that. let me be satisfied with n and c, let me develop those, let that be enough. let me run in the sand and build castles of words and pillars of faith and get away from this [it/s only beginning], summer was just yesterday.

content to a point, i know i/m on the right path and kicking up water flying so fast [it/s fun when you fly]. excited hopeful knowing progress is here, we/re [that means me today-] constructing mixing the cement and mortar and stirring. it. Up. i/m calling it "good" with a tired sigh [i don/t let you hear that though] and trying to smile through all this shit.


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