theboy has been approaching me. walking back from the assembly, grabbed an apple, walked&munched to art. the crowds of kids were still piling out of the assembly& he tapped me on the head, waking me out of my thoughts. hi and big smiles, surprised to see him. then walking to get my books before chem. he left her came and came and said hey with his face, his wide eyes and big smile. it/s funny the way she looks at me now; a little cautious. it makes me smile a little. me as a threat.

especially, everytime she sees me, one of her friends is talking to me or whoever she/s with will wave at me and say hi. and then she sees me with him, the little we see each other during the day.

absense makes the heart grow fonder, i guess. because i stopped caring (or pretended) and he started� it/s a staredown both our names on the screen and i wont give in. he/ ims /me, he/ stops /me in the hall, he/ smiles and opens his eyes at /me.

it/s nice, but i/m scared. because if i see him fucking touching her, i/ll retreat back into my silence and pretend again and it/ll be months before we talk (meaning, until he initiates things). because i/m tired of doing it, or of how it felt like it was just me for so. long. and after everything�.; if he does that and still �cares�, he/ll have to fall in love with me from far away.

///something i have to remember � when he tapped me on the head, i was walking right by him. and i didn�t see him at all.

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