i.m so hurt and jealous

i haven.t been j-e-a-l-o-u-s

ever?

oh. i feel it.

why her. why not me.

it.s not healthy, but it.s real

and it just hurts

it just..... hurts

and that.s really all i want to say about that, but i.ll probably veil it in metaphors later, so look out for that. heads up seven up.

ani difranco is singing how could i be so naive... i know i should be mature, keep my feet on the floor, but for some reason, just can.t take you anymore///// and i have to agree

i spilled my heart out about everything

and

............

[/end]

yesterday they held me and told me stories of me when i was little and i laughed the tears away, in the hammock, with the sunshine pouring in my eyes so much it hurt.

hurt.

and i keep wanting to call, to make it all better, to make sure. because i have thought about it all enought so that it.s perfectly clear. but they say NO no no, because no.

i don.t want it to be perfectly clear. it didn.t seem that way, and although it probably is....

i have reason to be angry angry angry, but that.s not going to get me or any of this anywhere

no, i say. no.

hurt,

hurt,

hurt.


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