lunchtime under the trees, laughing when it rains flowers and the ones who say noooooo get it in their mouths. kissing the air with our words, it.s been pretty okwonderful at school these days -- everyone is relaxed because they.re second semester seniors, mostly in college. i have links to so many of them, that it makes it nice to sit and talk and catch up, or get to know new kids better.

warm, or cool and breezy. and the next day we all laugh about how it is de.fin.ite.ly not warm, and i thought of you on the long, cold walk to school, the wind hit my cheeks and i thought of you and your weather predictions. frigid today we decided. but you.ve got the warmest sweatshirt in the world (the one he kept me warm with), and he had to agree. kept his face hidden except his eyes because it was cold, wouldn.t go inside even when our arms linked; i didn.t like to see him so coldcoldcold.

teaching (if anyone remembers this far back, i might have hid it all in vague languagre but this is the boy from spanish class) a boy how to play go fish. he looked into my face with the cutest grin, because i shuffle well and he made everyone stop and watch me shuffle. "wow, we.ve got a pro over hear" and "she.s a pro" two of them exclaimed. and one grinned, "at cards or...?" and the boy replied, "ah, a little bit of both" he laughed with me and i smiled.

he (we flew through the streets and played guitar on a sunny afternoon when things were to beautiful not to enjoy them) was slouched on a bench and i ruffled his hair. "tired?" "yeah.." and later we laughed about some other things, about the cold water and weather and how he wanted my big comfy parka. earlier. he came by my locker and said heyyyy i haven.t seen you around, you.re never at the benches anymore! and i had to defend myself of course, so i did, laughing, because i eat lunch there and sit there every break. so we walked to his math class and he played me some guitar.

it was all shivery and windy and pretty outside. //el hardcore boy// (who brings propaghandi cd.s to lunch) was sitting with them playing and i was like, heyy, scoot and sat and he made a big deal in a playful way but still didn.t move, because apparently, i was going to cheat, since, you know, i wasn.t playing? yeah ok, and i laughed and was sitting, watching them play and i put one boys cards to his chest because everyone could see them. someone goes, hey, you know, you can.t sit here, and mikes goes// what the hell. of course she can sit here. katie, you can come sit by me. and he went on and on and it was really nice.

then //a cute sailing boy// (first reference here!) gave me the biggest hug goodbye and it was lovely. reminded me of michaels warm hugs, strong friendlyboy arms.

and then (he writes his b's backwards)came and sat next to me and i was so perfectly open and we walked and played blackjack and i got twentyone seven times in a row and he was throwing the cards looking at me bewildered. we thought it would be fun to go to starbucks and play checkers, because hey, as he pointed out, the checkerboards are already on the table. in my head, i was thinking i could be true and keep my kings in the backrow and it would be just lovely. i had other plans arranged earlier for the afternoon, which mostly involved starbucks and subway and chocolate chip cookies (food much) and strawberries as our dinner, eaten on trays watching tv with our feet up. couch potato night, and it felt great. the next night involved bouncing on the new! trampoline, reading hardball and falling asleep to angels in the outfield. i hung out with both of them both days, friday was couch potator and then we hung out. i.ve been in the mood for movies this weekend.

the next morning i took the SATs and saw a ton of kids from my elementary school and from girlscouts too. i had so much fun taking it -- the long passages were a little tiring which is pretty unusual, but then the math. it was wonderful, i loved the questions and felt so good about it. yipee.

also, making plans for this summer. exciting. mission trips, economics pgrms, creative writing course at a place already near + dear to my heart (ghost ranch), and all sorts of exclamation mark things to do.

also. nicest thing in the world. we talked about a couple different things and (the girl under the sunshine, laying on the tennis courts last year with the crew) was leaving the room to go to class, she stopped mid doorway and turned to me. "you know everytime i see you, i think about how you won. and, i think it couldn.t have happened to a nicer person" and i was mostly speechless and a smile creeped and i said thank you in a voice that maybe couldn.t explain how it meant so much to me, but i can only hope it did.

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