she ionizes and atomizes
11.20.03back&
forth
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i want to take creative writing for the rest of my life. read pretty words under trees and indulge in chaos physics and symmetry. watch the ocean waving and get more than enough sleep. wake up to the sun shining and feel warm. not spend time missing someone. not be worried about letters and essays, not sit in the fucking cold for two hours listening and shivering.
i'm tired right now but i'll get over it and my eyes will open a little wider and someone will kiss me softer/harder and it will have nothing/everything to do with it. things will get better. good, i'm good. if you believe something enough it will come true, and then you will ruin it.
so let's vow to sleep and write. i'll print out the words that skirt around the issues and you come home. let's lie to ourselves a little more, and remember summer when we learned that under the pavement lies the beach... so let's explode.
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