tangled up in you
09.12.05back&
forth
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out of the blue you call and i dont pick up because i am circled in a big hug of friends and later i come home and see you are my missed call. i've been in a meeting for eight hours, i need to stretch, you called, i need to go for a walk. it's midnight and i walk up the steps to caro's apartment. so, he called, i tell her. we walk around campus in the dark. should i call him back? definitely, she says. really? and so on. i get home, and call you. you don't pick up. as i'm dialing i realize you're not going to answer. you don't. i don't leave a message. caro says well now you're equal.
equally stupid.
i'm in my bed, listening to death cab, my nightly routine, and it's you. you're calling me. i pick up the phone.
and things are said and i need to go to sleep so we can talk later. and tell you, i feel weird that you say you don't want to talk for a year and then call me randomly. and he said, don't. dont what? feel that way. what way? he said,the thing you just said. weird that you randomly call me after saying you don't what to talk for a year? yea. that's the one.
and he said, don't. just don't. in this raspy voice. that was so beautiful. and i was still guarded.
i said, i have to go to sleep.
he said, okay, we'll talk when we have more time.
i said, okay.
(and i've spent the last three hours not sleeping, in bed, thinking of him.)
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