ambien drunk on poetry and procrastination
09.29.08back&
forth
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i wish all my friends could be here, laughing, dancing. sitting in the same place, here in my apartment, i can see the swirls of your ghosts dancing through my walls, out smoking on the balcony, can see your ghost walk in, talk to me, hold my face in your hands, kiss me, throw me on the bed, hands everywhere. this is not so far removed from reality, after a long night of nostalgia - for you - i've forgotten what it's like when i used to remember being nostalgic. what i'm trying to change is everything. what i'm trying to say is that you don't know me at all. i'm okay with pretending, pretenses, i've been there before bullshit before. but i'd rather have something real. i'd rather talk about real stuff, real dreams, real people, your real lips on my mouth. would i push you away? does your first love still haunt you, that fluttering of love that's now hopping in your chest? you tell me, because telling you things is so three years ago. knowing who you are was so three years ago. let's give in and grow up and have sex and mean everything and not mean a things. let's be clear, let's be brutal, let's be honest.
let's lay on the floor of a beach on a blanket, or maybe just a blanket, on a beach under stars on a balcony looking at stars and the air that night. cool and breezy, gauzy, and i'm so happy here alone. curl around me for watch, we can be spoons. whisper dreams and poems in my ear, and i will hold close for warmth. pull me in closer.
he says, pisces need to be dominated. i'm a pisces! i said. well. sorry. it's true. why do i need to be dominated! i said. you just do. and he smirked at me. i could've punched him, but i also think he's adorable and a nerd with skills and he's tal. hi, my type. with a g/f. less so my type.
anyways. let's lay down in the grass. in the midnight dew.i'll let you in my dream. let's listen to the earth, watch the stars, drink red wine you've chosen, let's cuddle and not say one word.
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