culling lists & lockets. all those past mistakes.
everything we put on the shelf. place it in a letter,
send it federal express. morse code for an
achievement. braille for all the ways we must go on.

my life is all across the bedroom floor and i still
have no interest in returning your letters. i set my
face to blank. i sit across from someone else. it is
difficult to remember effortless.

call a suicide hotline, get placed on hold. laugh.
realize it could be so much worse. "the approximate
wait time is eight minutes," for twenty five minutes.
ride the elevator and make elevator conversation
and feel like myself. smiling, befriending. "the
approximate wait time is eight minutes." remember
sylvia. cry. take a long bath, get some sleep. be
surprised when someone answers. take notes.

remembering is the easiest, fastest way to dream.
your letters are in the ice box. you at sixteen.
maybe when the lights are low.


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