on good days
02.08.13back&
forth
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"The amateur, seeing how the professional having learned all that he�ll ever learn about writing can take a trivial thing such as the most superficial reactions of three uncharacterized girls and make it witty and charming � the amateur thinks he or she can do the same. But the amateur can only realize his ability to transfer his emotions to another person by some such desperate and radical expedient as tearing your first tragic love story out of your heart and putting it on pages for people to see.That, anyhow, is the price of admission. Whether you are prepared to pay it or, whether it coincides or conflicts with your attitude on what is �nice� is something for you to decide. But literature, even light literature, will accept nothing less from the neophyte. It is one of those professions that wants the �works.� You wouldn�t be interested in a soldier who was only a little brave."
-F. Scott Fitzgerald in a letter to his daughter
I'm so grateful for here, for ghost ranch, for settings formal as a final - the chance to open the birdcage, set fire to the hopping inside my chest. write all the shitty love stories i had in me, getting the shit kicked out of me by love and longing and thank blog for that - it's made me a better person. I'm free from so much of that now; a memory, a story instead of a scar.
but tonight waiting for your email tugs at a string i am working to not unravel. is there anything less attractive than checking your email every minute? and so i turned it off, took to the porch, deep cleaned the kitchen, organized life, paid bills, life admin, threw open the windows and doors and felt the cold rush in. new air. to keep safe, to keep the needles knitting.
let's get after it.
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