on a year without writing

02.11.20back& forth

i've begun again, i notice. i've taken up my black scrawl; it unwinds in a long dark thread of ink across the page, tangled but legible ...


what a whirlwind.
did i really not post AT ALL during 2019? wow. a busy year, for sure.

well, things are moving right along here, as always, as ever.

we got engaged, about two weeks later we were going to his holiday party and he randomly slipped and fell and broke his ankle in three places (trimaleal is a word I know now), snapped a bunch of tendons, went to the emergency room, then an orthopedic surgeon on his birthday (happy birthday babe!), then urgent surgery on christmas eve. had we been planning a trip to panama for over a year? yes. oh man, i could write more details, but it was a long season of sacrifice and i am not used to being a nurse. i wish i had handled it with nurse costumes or something fun, but it was a long slog, recovery was painful and he doesn't like being a patient (who does) so he'd rather not ask for help even when he needs help. i had a panic attack one day because it was so painful to see the person i love in pain, and also because some parking guy was yelling at me and it was The Last Straw (the first one in years and years, i truly could not breathe and a very nice building receptionist got me some water, patted my back and gave me a hug while i tried to breathe as his mom took him up to his appointment). it was the first christmas I ever spent without my parents. this seems so trivial, in the rear view, but it felt very significant at the time. so many other things. 2019, recovery, then surgery 2, then sick all summer, finally waking up out of a fog last month. it's already so much better. so many things, time ticks on as ever, making plans.

but time to update the mac and iphone...


december has our proposal, january has the anniversary of our first date (we just celebrated 7 years!), onwards til may..


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