on the counting of the crows

07.19.23back& forth

things i want to remember, things i want to forget

"i can't remember all the times i tried to tell myself
to hold on to these moments as they pass"

music -
seeing counting crows live. music as the straightest line. arrow to the heart of it all. "i was born on the shores of the chesapeake bay but maryland and virginia have faded away"
i cannot explain how much it all meant to me. how i was singing and dancing and pointed at adam duritz from 15 feet away and he looked right in my eyes and pointed back at me and i was so starstruck i cried. my husband saw it, the people around us saw it, and were all agape. adam was talking about how much he appreciates and loves seeing people jamming out. the woman behind me took pictures of us swaying and dancing to 'a long december' and sent them to us. they are so beautiful; i was so so happy. she is an angel.
i bought two merch shirts, which i never do, and i have worn both immediately. i love them so much. it was so great. not unlike the eras tour, noah, phoebe -- it was just pure joy. focusing on seeing live music this year was absolutely the move.
seeing dashboard confessional. feeling old but also so youthful. feeling like i would run into people from high school since it so quickly took me back to that time.

taylor's version of speak now while walking through the tree lined boardwalk.

well, finally. much like journaling, exercise, and eating fruits and vegetables, meditation really annoyingly has made my days and quality of life so much better. yesterday i did a guided meditation with the setting of a log cabin and i found myself wishing for chilly fall days. gone is the girl afraid of the chill in the air, the scarves. summer is hot and humid and unless i'm on a boat or at the ocean's edge, i am ready to move through this season, onwards to the next.

i don't know how or when this exactly clicked, but i am hyperfocused on adding mobility and compound movements. every day i am stretching, doing the seven minute workout, going on long walks, doing my PT RX, and focusing on resting and sleep. this is a touchy little subject for me that very easily tips to, let us say, unhealthy routines, so it has been a refreshing change. i'll take it, the joy and ease, whenever and wherever i find it.
also related, getting some new summer clothes to make it more pleasant to be outside when it's 95 with 85% humidity. the whole idea of no bad weather, just bad clothes. whenever i randomly wake up at 5am, i definitely take advantage and go for a walk when it's under 80. new shorts and sneakers for working out; new linen pants et al for general elegance.

making bracelets, selecting each bead one by one with tweezers, picking the perfect lyric for the perfect person, matching the colors to the visions dancing in my head. it is so satisfying. my favorites that i have been wearing are 'romanticize a quiet life' (phoebe), lavender haze (taylor). my favorite ones i've made for others are all too well, begin again, and namaste, for my yogi. painting rocks and adding them to the rock snake down by the river.

somebody, somewhere in a day. a delight.
watched all of the bear (i love it so much) and it was so en media res it was startling.
the new season of alone, and rewatching an old season with my dad and discussing it. i love the quotes before each episode, and i find so much meaning and thoughts to bring back into my own life while watching each episode.

what's next-
onwards to north carolina, to more concerts, to more music movement meditation and more. to adding good things to the pile.

"and it's been so long since i've seen the ocean... i think i should"

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