on a wednesday (hi tori), be kind if you can

07.11.18back& forth

dispatches from the district:
+cannot get into the world cup this year, beyond crush-ing russia and all the croatia fans. as i like to say, the bandwagon is fun, but i just can't seem to bring myself to hop on. no fucks left to give, perhaps.
+went back to PT last night to check in and get some new things to do. feel so much better with new marching orders.
+talked to my dad on his birthday.
+had a stupid, long day, but, whatever, the check comes on friday. i even slept in this morning, usual practice after i get completely humbled and worn out at PT. the day just dragged on, i wanted to be more social than i was, but i enjoyed getting to text SF, eat figs, drink a ton of water, talk to people more one on one.
+physical anxiety was super high today after a long streak of solid days. learning, relearning, to ride the waves.
+ AND, more importantly, i turned it around with the most beautiful night -- going back to my old hallowed haunting grounds, swimming and swimming and swimming, relaxing in the hot tub, taking a nice long shower, walking outside, making a perfect salad at whole foods, the amazing uber ride home with the windows down, perfect dc summer night. i feel like i did when i was young, but wiser -- grateful to basically take myself on a date and stretch and swim and float, to go up and down the aisles of whole foods and look in other people's baskets, be on lululemon watch for everyone coming for dinner after their workout classes. it's weird to think, of course, i'm one of them, lulu bag on my shoulder, post workout, hair tucked in a bun.
+i swam in all my jewelry today, each piece so special to me and made to last.
+things are physically messy; by friday, everything will be in it's place again. i want to konmari again, or maybe i want to just have less, but really want i want is (expensive) and more efficient storage solutions, and that's where i am with that.
+my current nerding out is how much i can transfer to my savings account and several investment vehicles / spreadsheets I have. I love transferring more over, adding an entry to the spreadsheet. I manage what I monitor, and I love it.
+drinking: medium skim lattes from pret (often dancing to drake), ice cold water as always, ginger ale and pisco sours.
+adventuring: happy to be working, otherwise: dupont underground, meeting my online friends IRL, celebrating birthdays, friday night drinks with coworkers, game night-ing with the usual suspects. watching twitch!
+thinking: the days are long but the years go fast; december is here before it's june, how did it get so late so soon. july july, you'll always be that song, all those summers. working with someone who lived in NC as well, lots of memories I hadn't thought about in years and years.

it was kind of a long winter, a shit spring, but flowers eventually bloom, and even if i try not to, thinking about fall layers and still full of banked summer endorphins/melatonin, summer is always my season. august and everything after is just around the corner, the beginning of things, again, again, again.

i try to write first, and then look at the last entry. distance (and romance). we are good.
i hope you are doing so well. and if you're not, that you know the right people to ask for help. just so happy tonight, turning this day around, swimming will always feel like my truest self, talking about good memories and coffee and working out with my uber driver. the little things.

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