star wars nights driving around the key singing third eye blind and listening to the wind. they give our names as josephina and vader. darth, vader. we armwrestle and flip coins and talk about bunnies and fires and such. i try to smile when people start shooting spitballs through their straws, but really, you're sixfuckingteen and its not very amusing. i dont like sir pizza's pizza very much.

and i'm the only one in the car full of laughter that is staring out the window looking at the gorgeous skyline of buildings with lit windows as i think about the people in them. i kind of like that.

i drive a messy boy home. i listen to him. he takes me the roundabout way because he needs someone, me at the moment, to listen to him. i don't mind listening. i like listening.

driving at night talking about murder and death makes me nervous because i have to drive home by myself and i have to put down the windows because i feel uncomfortable in a little bubble of air conditioning. it needs to be real. i dont like the red lights at night because i have to stop. i dont like to stop.

i want to breathe and enjoy and watch the skyline and stare at the outlines of the trees in the rain and their sharpness in the sun and still go forward forever.


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