i wanted it to be easy, but it is not. i want things to come out perfect, to slide through my fingers like water, and here i am using metaphors for things i can't explain. we talk about other things adressing each others weaknesses, in sort of a mean way but with no intention. like how in one hour photo he has no family and no friends, he does nothing. except you have friends. so fucking what if your sister says she is more popular and talks about all these people. you know only two of them have come over more than once. you know. it.s okay i want to say. you.re lucky i want to say. but that.s all in retrospect, i just can.t say and think fast enough with you, or maybe it.s too fast because i.m already thinking of the car and what to say and how i just want to collapse into your arms but you can.t even get that close.