more more more i/m letting it pour
09.28.02back&
forth
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and we pull our chairs close because we can.t hear other. i.ve worked so much and i want to stop. no effort. effortless. effortless. i want to fall to you, i want you to catch me. the image of your bedcover, the soft blue denim cover and the white pillows, messy and wonderful and how soft it is and how much i want to fall into it makes me want you to fall in love with me. to fall. [is it that you have nowhere to fall from?] the difference between us is you're safe on your ground but i'm reaching for the stars. i think it.s no use thinking of you in this way, only what i can control [myself, and even then]. this makes my fingers feel good, i stretch my hands because they haven.t typed like this for too long. too long, but it was just everyday and i just couldn.t. won.t. let it fall, that letter [c] scared scared scared me because this is what they look at. and although it.s in the back of my mind that i don.t want to get there and wonder if it was worth all this work, i know those aren.t my words. that.s what i.ve read; here, elsewhere. i will get to be Me but i still read her away messages that say college would be fun without the work.
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