tired//

10.03.02back& forth
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things i.ve written in the past couple days///

like

-how that day when he sat across from me at lunch he was so amazed that i knew aaa, and was all like nah nah katie punk rock girl nah nah. just like when we were on the benches earlier in the year, how we sat and talked about good music and they were all impressed

-how hard i laughed at the show when sari was my savior across the crowds and we talked and laughed. with all the palmer kids for like an hour. so hard my stomach hurt. laughing at. with. franco, just because. how he talked to me tons, he always says my whole name. and the cute kid in the yellow striped shirt, a lot like me. how i thought he looked like a cute kid from last year, how sari didn.t and how i defended him. no, i thought he was cute! and how the boy smiled. and how we both stood at the edge of the craziness and smiled.

-how .he. knows who bright eyes is. how we would have gone. how we would have gone last night and talked to chris and sung all the songs cause we rule cause we know all the words, and not just fucking screaming infidenlities that stupidgirl has been singing since it came out on mtv

-how that same night erica was so nice and invited me to her car and how we sat in the air conditioning and she introduced me to her friends and how we were talking and they were laughing and she was like, oh. tell us so we can laugh too. she.s so cute and nice.

-how when they performed in the quad i knew all the words, and i sang, and they were good and it was good

-how when we went to their show we rocked. hard. how i had just gotten out of the pool, and how cute boys kept standing next to me and talking to me during the music. how i couldn.t hear a word, but it said more than enough.

-how when she left us there we talked and we jumped. really jump? yeah. we held down the fort while all the too cool kids sat in seats and tried to appreciate something they couldn.t ever understand, can.t understand til you.re right there and he.s looking you in the eye and smiling because you.re screaming and singing and jumping. it was starting to break out of the shell.

-how we played cards and i got tired of everything and took your camera and sat under the stage lights outside the soundbooth with headsets on, by myself and took deep breaths. how i came back and how sam and me made up signals for kent. card fights [literal. throwing cards. everywhere] and stupid things, but you took pictures of me. how we sat on the stage while they performed. how we hung our heads over the balcony and you put your head close to mine. how we walked out together and we left together, and we sat under a lamplight looking for my key, when it was right in my backpocket. you drove me to my car. we.ll forget that i drove home alone.

-how i.m hanging out with new people and how i have the best lunch table ever.

-how he covered me in water and salt, how he puts his head on my shoulder, how he.s so cute!

-for two days, every minute he wasn.t swimming or I wasn.t swimming we were talking or laughing about something, and that was neat. how he can jump with his guitar.

-how he can make me feel better in an instant

I look at the notes I took last year. I look at the quizzes I have to take this year. And I just want to cry.




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