the night comes crawling in

02.01.03back& forth
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so i just couldn.t stop smiling
rounding the bend to your house
and away from it
curled up with my knees to my chest
do re mi
watching amelie and
the way you looked at me
(i felt it on my back)
when i flipped over
covered my eyes
couldn.t watch
the face anymore

and you stopped the movie and
rewinded
and told me i had to watch it,
"you.ve missed something"
(but
dear
it
just
hasn.t
been you)

that was donnie darko
and when they kissed it made me laugh
and when you burned me it.. you burned me?
and when i came home
and when i watched their kisses over and over
it made me smile in the most forlorn way, laughing at the cuteness
it made my stomach turn
it made me wish for a you
to kiss
(but not to kiss you. this is important. )

it felt so good to lay there on your bed
to laugh and smile and talk about the movie and the music and the perfect alibi when they kissed
and not feel anything for you
to not mind when she called
because you were going out with her
i did sort of mind that when i asked about time
you said oh no no no, don.t worry about it we can watch it
which i thought was mean
after we started watching a new movie and you paused it
and it was a good movie!
and the implication was made that i had to leave
and that part i didn't mind, at all
i told you when she called i didn't mind what time,
whatever she wanted and i said it effortlessly
and kept browsing through movies while you talked
because i had to get home too
so just tell me when
you know?


and then time.s the sky and the sky.s the limit
which is really not a limit at all

i laughed when i talked about you
use him for what he.s worth
right? right.
perfectly platonic
and i love.love.love it� i just have to keep saying how it felt so lovely to be able to have conversation and laugh so. hard. at the movie and not worry about him so much, to have fun with him and just leave it at that, stop trying to find hidden meanings. because you can.t even remember that i took the sats that morning, even when the night before we spent five hours watching movies and talking, we set my watch especially for the sat, and you didn.t remember. you didn.t remember about sweepstakesprize or when i wasn.t in school...but then you did, and you made jokes about your oblivion and it was ok, ok, ok. you.re still cute (sort of) and i love you, (i should have known with a boy like you, you.re middle name is always) but just not like that. you have to know what i mean, please?


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