this will never even come close. this is 2am. this is. tonight he held me. silly photographs and crazy family dinners and fortune cookies. "you are a ray of sunshine in someone's life," which is what he's been telling me for months. we talked to old friends and we were us, recording our voices unknowingly. and we laughed about words unsaid, we unravelled deepdarksecrets (does such a thing exist? is there something so hidden and so shameful? sometimes i do not understand.) and it was less than our hearts and more than the apathetic recollection so much that it welcomed and it existed and at once increased infinitely to some deeper understanding of moving across the country (i don't mind the weather) alone, about kissing soft bruises into a warm cheek tangerine, about laughing and being real and his hands on my waist in my hair hello/goodbye. i am such a rough draft.

but we said goodnight like a filmstrip. a photobooth. one more time. one more photo.

andtomorrow he gets on a plane.


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