today felt like june, wearing the thin shirt you first kissed me in, my long hair (now longer) flying over my shoulders, warm in the sun, bikeriding &sipping strawberry shakes, listening to the quiet symphonies of chandeliers, mile wide smiles, everything green in perfect pitch. we opened our books of old conversations, i almost picked up the phone to play you that song, kiss me or kill me, honey in my veins.

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i am ready to be amazed again. i am finding enough beauty in summer days in october, the madness of time passing, finding all the silver linings. something else is coming for me, i know, but sometimes i just can't close my eyes to let it catch me while i'm not looking. soon i'll fill up; we'll shutterfly away, you'll say again as you did tonight, words like sweetheart, divinity, angels, wow. i laugh away your words, you must be lonely, all that is right with humanity you told me i am, said tiny pieces of your words will leave me alone but not lonely again. for example i replied, kafka &i holding hands as bugs. (you are my tiny pieces.)

.

they tell me all their secrets you know, trust is a big word. no rounder than hello i tell them, because in whispers they've all learned i have slender fingers for tying knots to words and slipping them into wooden coffins. my love is open, i am afraid of ugly words; it is the abscence of light reflecting the sky in my eyes, it is missing you that is filling my heart with love.


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