moments before sleep

01.10.08back& forth
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there's a
mess and stress and looking over so many old words, i am a new creature, kafka and i hold hands as bugs, searching the attic for old papers and praise from former lovers and teachers, it's christmas and cinnamon rolls and dancing and a ten foot snowman and my dog at my lap, money money money. dealing with so much of my responsibility - to publish, to write, to apply, to call, to maintain, to lose. and this seemingly neverending list drives me to an irritability i can barely stomach, don't talk to me, don't fuck with me, don't tell me you love me and turn a knife in my back, little things drive me insane, and i know once applications and this essay are completely done i'll be a much happier healthier human being. tomorrow i have jury duty at eight in the morning, which means waking up at seven, which is four or five or even six hours earlier than i've waken up in the previous week. it's a golden new year, dancing at midnight and watching fireworks and swimming in a lighted pool next to the ocean, talking about how we don't know where we're going to be this time next year. loving it. loving it! have lots more to say, but to sleep i go. xx


CHEERS, loves. we made it this far. ♥


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