let's see how far we've come

12.25.07back& forth
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it's 12:25am on 12.25. christmas is here! good morning sugarmuffins.

i am ready for new poetry and reading a book by jacuzzi's and palm trees. hello backyard. talking to friends in thailand, in buenos aires, in small town texas. reconnecting and the circles between all of us.

upstairs in my attic, looking through old books and notes and things i've said. things i'll use to send postcards and packages and a zine once i get to that place.

things i want to do in 2008
+travel
+dance a lot
+love new music
+go scuba diving at least once
+cook a three course meal
+learn new things - golf, cooking, wine tasting
+go to law school! (and i will! crazy!)

2007 has been incredible.

january
+ringing in new years at ashley's!
+dukies coming to visit! adam stesh and hales on miami beach!
+coast guard change of watch - inducted!
+first issue of the helm!
+missing the 919
+hanging out with dani and ana a lot!
+deciding not to go back to duke and...
+starting my second semester at miami!

dannyboyk2: you were more like "I love life and everything and you." kind of crazy.
dannyboyk2 (5:11:25 AM): "that kind of crazy that I would never admit to liking as much as I did"
dannyboyk2 (5:11:33 AM): "you know"
dannyboyk2 (5:11:37 AM): that kind of crazy

february
+going to panama for octavio and m's wedding!
+seeing all my family and loving it!
+the customs people taking away my seco and me crying about it! they were big, big assholes to me
+"the point is not that my life is one long golden summer which i amsimply too self absorbed to appreciate (although it might be, ofcourse, and i am simply too self absorbed to appreciate it) but thathappy moments are possible" --nick hornby
+the filming of the snowman!!!!
+dan shar and i starting things, cups of chai & sleepovers? or too early.

march
+hanging out and laying at the beach with ben and pod!
+boomers and movies and relaxing!
+RIDICULOUS night out on south beach with drea!
+kissing a lot of people
+my 21st birthday!
+spring break in miami then NEW YORK!
+being in nyc with my favorites - drea, cami, ange, caro!
+getting back with respiratory illness and otitis
+dating and making out with dan, such as going to the planetarium
+pod asking me to be her roomie for next year!
+sick again, w./ sinusitis/exhaustion
+getting our apt-to-be!
+of montreal concert!

april
+happy happy!
+charties with ana banana all the time
+latenight swimming on the beach!
+not having a roomie!
+"spooning" with dan! and telling him "i can be pretty detached"! lol..
+my ovaries trying to murder me!
+working on the helm!
+planning pcc heat game!
+hanging out and shopping with ana!
+LSAT planning and worrying!
+up and down weeks and walking a lot with e!
+parties at katy's and dani's for her bday!
+going running a lot!

may
+not wanting to "spoon" with dan anymore!
+writing "i will find someone i actually like a lot soon."!
+finals and getting lots of A+s! YAY!!
+done with school!
+moving back home!
+LSAT-ing like crazy!
+working out a ton!
+working at the wellness center!
+meeting all the really nice/cool/hilarious people that work there!
+buying my tory burches, in all their beautiful, expensive glory!
+"i feel good and am making changes i am proud of and living it day by day, working for my dreams"-yo

june
+visting pod in sarasota for a long weekend!
+going to busch gardens for the first time!
+falling in love with rusty (her dog)!
+wellness center all the time - meeting new loves! working with katy, brad, and marco!
+my moma bear having to get biopsies to see if she had breast cancer... and NOT having cancer!!! thank god!
+my brother getting to stay at his school bc he worked so hard!
+taking a bazillion practice tests leading up to
+june 11th- the LSAT! kjdsfklfjskljfkdlsjfkldsjflkj!!!
+destressing from the LSAT by laying out and...
+reading after the LSAT- prozac nation, lullaby, freakonomic, time travellers wife, letters to a young poet, chuck klosterman IV, moral disorder, how to breathe underwater
+going out to the abbey with fred & co! laughing so hard!
+thinking how i really like this brad kid that i work with
+babysitting and giving the kids baths and reading to them and hanging out with my favorite babies!
+buddy eating the seats in the mercedes... uh oh!
+working at the law office with john again! so so busy!
+starting house sitting and making bank!
+being in love with all my jobs, happy the LSAT is over, and waiting for the results!

july
+partying with the wellness crew!
+dancing it up at talia's! brad taking me home and me wanting him to kiss me!
+laurie's summer party!
+hot flashes all the time!
+getting my LSAT score and being pretty happy with it! which meant not having to take it again! YAYYYY!
+working a lot!
+trip with pod to maine!!!!
+going to CANADA and staying in montreal!
+8 hour drives and hanging out with the thompson fam!
+going out on the boat and laying out in maine!
+eating lobster and going to the wharfy!
+spending 9 entire days, 24 hr/day, with my roomie-to-be and not getting sick of her once!
+rusty falling in love with e once i left!
+house sitting!
+working at the law office again!

august
+bourne movie watching party at my house!
+keeping in touch with caro and ange!
+enjoying the end of summer!
+working up until the day i moved in!
+moving into the apt!
+meeting alae and giving her a pillow!
+having friends in almost all my classes!
+my classes this semester - abnormal child psychology, coastal law, biobehavioral statistics, history of photography, financial accounting

september
+building blocks project!
+FOOTBALL pregrames at my apt! every game!
+teaching brad what spooning is!
+a week or two later, our very cute first kiss! and making out! YAY!
+getting promoted at the wellness center!
+going to the obama debate!
+working really hard at school!
+getting a new phone and being in love with my red blackberry pearl!
+super panic about getting law school rec's when i'd already been told yes! crazy girl!

october
+me and brad making out! often!
+loving my photo class and all my other classes!
+still worrying and not emailing law school rec people!
+realizing we could hang out on the ledge of our apt! living life.. on the Ledge! hahaha
+having serious panic attacks! yeck!
+alae and i up all night watching grey's nights and making dinner and shopping
+perup perup perup you!
+drea coming and smoking hookah and partying on south beach!
+chilling at the lowe's the next day in the hot tub for hours! love her!
+going to the knife and drinking an entire bottle of white on my own and being drunk at 3pm!
+wanting to travel so badly!
+the shitshow halloween party at our apt!
+"spooning" with a perup! hahaha sexy!
+the aftermath of the shitshow aka my phone stolen!
+getting a new phone! i love crackberry!
+still lots of panic, all the time! boo! this sucked!
+however, starting really good panic meds to help keep my anxiety at more normal levels! yay!

november
+studying a lot in the club!
+taking my panic meds all the time! thank god for them!
+thanksgiving!
+going to the keys with my family!
+going to the keys with pinsey! bubba cups and sleepovers!
+laying out in the sunshine and loving life!
+study rooms at all hours, every day!
+finishing red book with ashley! acc. project done!
+seeing fredo at the club twice!
+me and brad "spooning"!
+elena walking in on me and brad... oops!
+spending my LIFE as in everyday and night at the library!
+last week of classes!
+going to panama!!!!!!
+being a bridesmaid in aqui and isa's wedding!
+going to taboga!
+seeing ALL of the LOVES OF MY LIFE aka my panama family!

december
+having lunches and dinners with all my family in panama! LOVE!!!
+coming home from panama!
+writing my OCD treatment research paper!
+getting sinusitis!
+spending the entire week of reading days in the club, seeing loves, panic-ing, working, writing, studying... living there!
+4 finals in two days!
+pinsey sleeping over all the time!
+being done with finals!!!!!!
+last days with alae! shopping and tea and hookah!
+bryan graduating, alae leaving, crying my face off for an entire 2 days!
+grandma here, working a lot, trying to panic less!
+xmas party at the g's, xmas eve at our house!
+spooning & more spooning, bars and at least ten seco & limes, give me a triple shot, spaniards
+laying in my backyard, him giving me christmas presents, fingertips lingering
+going through tons of old diaries and letters and papers in my attic/closet from middle/highschool/college & thinking on things


"we don't see things as they are. we see things as we are." so this is my year, in my perspective, in little and big things that i remember, that give me some sense of history, of time passing, of photographs on the dashboard, of reading novels late into the night, the last candle flickering out. we are almost ending and i feel safe and i feel secure and i feel moving and i feel loved, entirely and wholely loved my people who will wrap themselves around me, especially when that person is me.


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