shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. i am getting old. i told a friend [who is twenty seven] this and she was like, there is no way to tell someone who is older than you that you are getting old without seeming like a baby. well, i am a baby!

i'm not very good at being casual friends with someone, or, people i go to school with anyways. they are either my bff and then we drift or they annoy the crap out of me.

anways. this weekend has been snowpocalytpic in DC, which i enjoyed - watching snow fall is magical to this miami girl. but now i have been cooped up for five days, i think i've left my apartment twice - once to get groceries and another time to go to a friends apt to watch movies & get snowed in.

on top of all this, i am siiiiick, which is why i haven't really gone anywhere or played in the snow. i haven't been able to go to the doctors since everything has been closed since friday. i'm 102% sure i have sinusitis, but i can't get my medicine since school [and thus the clinic] has been closed. this reminded me i reeeeeally need to get a GP here in dc for this very reason. i considered calling my pediatrician in miami to prescribe me some antibiotics! but i am going to see the chiro tomorrow morning before the snow hits, and probably a mani/pedi after if it's not snowing. i feel like tanning, too, because i am ghostlyyyyyy and my face hasn't seen the sun in too long, and sun lamp - god it's been years. but dreary february arrives and i'm ready for sunshine and palm trees.

this long break reminds me of last semester, i got sinusitis and missed about a week of class, and i was in my apt for five days straight and basically just feeling lazy and exhausted. i *don't* want to do that, but at the same time i realize that i'm just sick. i always look back at these entries looking for some nuggets of who i was with, what i was doing, what i was feeling. so this is what's running through my mind.

i have been listening to tegan & sara's 'nineteen' a lot. and god, i am glad i'm not nineteen. honestly. ani says if you're not getting happier as you're getting older, you're fucking up. when i think of myself at nineteen - yes, gallivanting around a wonderland-esque north carolina, drunk and happy and wild, there was a part of me that confused and sick and sad. isn't there always? but i mean, everything was so high-low-high-low. the first time i ever got depressed i was 19. what will be five years ago. god. how far i have come. :) that's worth a smiley emoticon. i think i am done rambling for now.

suffice to say - when i consider the circumstances, i am getting happier as i'm getting older. but my first instinct is no. i think of things that are wrong, things i want to fix, instead of all that is wonderful and magical about this life i have.

here's to getting more comfortable as being twenty three ends. 'i love the rain the most' by joe purdy has been playing for these last two paragraphs and it just makes me feel so at peace.


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