first i read that and then i googled a random phrase from back in the day and thus i just found an online note i wrote someone when i was in ninth fucking grade. ninth grade! fourteen years old! reading j.d. salinger in secret corners of the library and living at the pooldeck and listening to music loud with my friends on the tennis courts during free periods. kindles didn't exist and neither did iphones or ipads. ordering zines from the internet and going to shows and driving down 95 to the keys every chance we got. worrying about where i'd get into college and where i'd go to college and dreaming about other cities and times and places and having the most boundless energy sometimes i can't believe all the things i did in those days. it was just what had to be done, like anything else. wearing polo shirts everyday and abercrombie pants and somehow never feeling small enough. and then some measure of feeling moments of power over my body and then of what it is to love another person so much. and so many essays and ap classes and chemistry tests, facts and figures, stacks of books and corresponding exams. oh my god, and the things i actually read aloud to a class of my peers in my senior year poetry class.

jesus christ. sometimes it's just too much.


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archive. profile. notes. random.