going to therapy today was rough. i cried and cried. it's just so hard that i am still holding onto feelings of failure from things that are ten years old. i definitely don't give myself enough credit. for making it through all that i did.

one of my best qualities is that i can see things from lots of angles & perspectives. and that i ask for help when things are hard. so she says. i just hate that i feel the need for a gold star, for praise. i just hate all these things looming - deadlines, documents, drama that i don't want but feel coming.

i've made it through a lot, and i just want to remember that today, document that here. i have so much work to do but all i want to do is reread old entries to give myself some perspective of how i felt then. i think i'd need to get to my old physical journals. because this is ice in a glass of water, and i've got so much buried under frozen lakes.

winter. is. coming.


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