so, soon, we will get on a plane and fly over to the right yet left coast. i loved san fran, i loved yosemite, i can't wait to eat donuts and see the eclipse and be stuck in traffic. i can't wait to hopefully see one of my favorites who is busy answering pages as a resident there, to eat tiny gluten free snacks with her, cheers with big pours, and laugh so hard i cry. to going on a trip with someone who already has a google earth map of places we can stop - it's type A planning on another level, and i am happy to go along for the ride.

the 4th of july was brilliant. i made kabobs, and sour cherry crumble, and ate strawberry rhubarb pie, and house sat for a cat and a life that isn't mine yet. a kitchen where there was more than enough room for pots, and potholders, and potholder organizers. it was kitchen porn, and i liked it.

this is the time for looking backwards in order to move forwards. it's checking timehop, thinking of how far we've all come, and turning into the sun, into the light, into the future. and when life is hard, rest if you must, but don't quit.

rest if you must, but don't quit. stay the course.

a week ago i booked a plane ticket at 7pm and was on a plane at 11am. a week in the country, to surprise my grandmother for her 85th birthday, to take a little time off in a perfect house where the laundry folds itself, sheets tuck in after you get out.

other things:
i have been in full konmari mode.
our couch came!! it is beautiful and glorious and now everything else looks like shit in comparison. but ah, watching a room transform, watching the feeling of a room transform. it is glorious. i hope i can continue to throw money at these kinds of problems, it's so satisfying.

this is the time i miss maine.
this is the time i want to dial in closest to home, to my favorites, to confirm my old self and my new self and my old friends and my still old but present day friends - to meld and merge and remember and forge on, to catch up and make plans and do things.

i don't judge people on very much. but if you're not actively trying to better yourself, living in an atmosphere of growth. it's boring. maybe that's why i need a type B to my capital A. maybe that's why i like someone who cares about the eclipse and wants to go to banff and glacier and national parks, i accept this. and who accepts my influence, that four pillows is infinitely superior to one, that nice hotels are nice and room service is a delight.

ever strong in my convictions.
ever persevering in the most difficult of times.
trying not to let envy or ennui or depression or any of that shit get in the way of konmari, of moving forward, of cleaning everything to it's core in order to find that centered place, being able to relax in my own home, with the sheets tucked in, everything accessible, a refined, defined design that is purposeful and meaningful. white space. space to put things away. i wrote a journal about this - a once in a lifetime tidying festival.

in other news--
i worked almost every day for 35, 40 days, 11-15 hours a day, and i am just now recovering. i am not made for 14 day work benders, much as i wish i was. i'm just not.

things that are happening, things i want to remember about the fun that was may and june:
face masks.
so many walks.
so many sushi orders.
working out every day when we had work gym access.
then getting unlimited hours, no gym access, and not prioritizing my trainer.
plank challenge. push up challenge. running the stairs at night at the bank, lunges and squats in the elevator, calf raises during phonecalls.
konmari, fast and furious.
angeling a few things here and there.
starting a spreadsheet for lululemon and IRA contributions.
#adulting.
i feel like i got so much life admin done during that project, made such good friendships, had fun, worked hard. ate too much, took a week and got right back into good eating habits. i don't know how to recreate that magical laughter, that great combination of people and money and hours -- but i want to remember it. all of our annointed names, the phrases of the day, lunch plans, walks to the white house, getting to enjoy an area of DC i hadn't worked in for a while. we laughed, we cried, we played the lotto, one of us had a baby, it was way better than Cats.
taking a million ubers home.
christmas in july! from LLL and from work elves. i loved organizing it for our crew.

at home in the mountains:
swimming.
going up to brasstown bald, hiking down.
surprising my grandma - birthday cake, face masks, lunch outside.
hanging out with the dogs - walking them out to the fields, sitting on the swing and watching the sun lower in the sky. it's so crisp, and quiet there, i can see it, feel it, just typing this now.
getting a full night sleep every night.
getting my nails done, twice.
watching quantico when i got food poisoning and ate bread and drank diet ginger ale for 2+ days.
using my serums and google keep routines, my to do lists and possible to do lists to keep a running list of everything. #mindpalace #brainpalace

i can't help but compare this year to last.
and everything is better.

july, july. the song i listened to ten years ago in a keys house.
i am just the same and i am so so different.


-------------------------------------
archive. profile. notes. random.