today. a different prettiness. surrounded by people talking and not feeling awkward that i particularly want to say anything, my french braid/messy bun with ribbons, glasses, working out and being all sweaty and feeling good about myself, doing work (!), getting ORGANIZED {remembering to bring my cd player & lastnight having made my own dashboard cd with 4 bonus tracks because i think i have every song theyve recorded}, realizing i was so good the first quarter and its PAYING off bigtime now {ie. getting notes for AP}, knowing the answers on my scarlet letter quiz, talking to the chemist about his alchemy of the mind {haha just made that up}.

i feel compelled to write a story or a vignette or something. unfortunately, everthing write now is strangely ethereal. instead of palliating, i'll extricate myself. {i know, i know. i deserve a big highfive for using three vocab words in two sentences. i said the last one out loud in class. everyone clapped.}

i am looking at te stuff on my desk: computer, thin champagne glass ish speakers, french vanilla stuff, scarlet letter, crumpled water polo info sheet...upwards to jasc paint shop pro box {searching for the cd the other day to start stuff for pwg.net}, photos, photos, photos {me, morgan, steph at a swim meet, my dad's panama photos, stack of cd-rw, three stacks of cd's {mostly my brothers. magic school bus! ohhhhh six grade memories...}, a mini gingerbread house {3"}, my old books, movies, and on top of this disarray are some trophies - from when i was nine and was a softball superstar {haha yeah right} - my brothers school ones {the sports ones get their own shelf in his room. he really is a stud} and our signed baseballs. also a plate i made to summers ago with analise & sam at art camp. wow that was a long time ago.

i haven't done work for a long time, yet i am surviving {with flying colors, actually} in the toughest academic environment here. i need to keep saying that to myself and knowing IT WONT WORK FOREVER. it wont work for five more minutes. thank god tomorrow is friday. thank you, god. haha that makes me think of the doug episode where the evil guys kills weekends.

oh. joy.


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