*

bridesmaid-ing, lipglosses & cigarettes (a dirty, delicious when-in-rome habit) stashed in lingerie hidden by pulls of satin topped with jewels. bring it on, wedding weekend. the water tasted off so of course we finished all the champagne.

holding on for warmth, jackets over shoulders, whiskey shared from your flask -- anything to stop shivering. castles and libraries and gardens, dance floors, smoking cigars outside and laughing because even when i try not to i smoke it like a cigarette. just blow.

'are you going to remember this in the morning,' laughing & taking the longest, hottest shower of my life. fluffed in pillows and you're at my door. we both know what we are doing and that is a fantastic combination. trying not to keep the newlyweds awake all night but not sure if we succeeded.

*

fast forward a few months later and i'm in atlanta and another dancefloor and making out but unlike you this guy has no idea what he's doing. the curve of my back while i get the hair off the nape of my neck (this is a sign, and if you do not take it you will not get much futher) and i'm already bored. no, nothing happened, i just want to dance with my friends. breakdancers and a club where you can actually smoke inside (who knew this even existed or that i would ever want to partake - my younger self is dying at the thought) and zumba moves. shake that, can we get a shake that. ciroc vodka (again, when in rome, and also, HA) with tonic and limes.

*

spiked peach lemonade and all our porchsittings til the sky was black, chain smoking and discussing all our half lives, shelf lives, past lives, future lives. it's just past 1am and i remember when you called me around now a month ago - i know it's late but meet me on the porch?

*

music, the moon, and flickering memories.


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