these wonder years

01.03.12back& forth
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a fun thing to do when you are almost twenty fucking six years old is to google your exes screen name that you just found in a random document as you are finally purging a bunch of old computer files. so that one quick trip to google later, you find that your old diaryland diary is, oh yes, the second search result, and you read the resulting entry and put your hand on your forehead and your face gets red because oh my actual god the things you wrote and thought when you were fifteen years old.

i am talking about a friend, obviously. nothing to see here.

unrelated, i think two of my exes and or people i was in love with found this or an old livejournal and also i remember giving at least one person this address because we were friends and it seemed like a good idea at the time, but i can't really remember who else actually found this because i am sure my ego has blocked it out in order for me to go on living. yet i still don't delete it why? it's fucking hilarious. and humbling. and like looking at an old photo of yourself, wishing you could tell yourself that you look pretty and that guy is an actual asshole and that you will still be friends with her ten years later and will attending her wedding shortly (another oh my actual god) so it was worth not getting mad over stupid shit you said or didn't say to each other. also i have been watching a lot of the wonder years lately and i am sure that hasn't influenced me at all in terms of nostalgia. essentially underneath a lot of layers i am pretty sure i am kevin arnold forever. (and so are a lot of people, and that is supremely comforting. especially in those 'oh my actual god' moments.)




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