Phoebe looked like an angel, Taylor looked like every archetype and then some, it was absolutely excellent. The production value of the show was incredible, the best I have ever seen in an arena hands down. The vibes were immaculate - dancing and singing with our new friends for the night in our row, trading friendship bracelets and giving some away too. Music is just one of those things that makes me feel alive, like I'm really living, and something I wanted to prioritize more of this year. I used loop earplugs, which are SO great. I love music but I don't want to blow my eardrums out. I cringe looking back at all the shows I went to in my early youth, wearing converse and dancing in the pit and being right next to giant speakers and drum sets. Ft lauderdale and miami beach teenage dirtbag club days seeing alkaline trio, dashboard, etc. I keep thinking 'almost forty!' when I literally just turned thirty seven. I don't know where I got this in my head (you know, besides patriarchy, internalized misogyny, women 'losing their value' after X age). Like why being 40 means I have to be serious all the time and not make friendship bracelets and buy star stickers and enjoy the things I did when I was a kid. Isn't this all inner child healing, anyways? I need to stop judging myself, and I am working on it. This weekend was a really fun way to express myself.

Fun little memories to remember - of staring out the window of the acela, walking everywhere, holding hands, breezy nights, taking our time, the tiniest queen bed ever, sexy dinner reservations (planning is hot), the view from the philadelphia museum of art at sunset, walking around an art museum and just enjoying the all the beautiful things. pottery and cut crystal, modern installations, all the stairs, tapestries, a room of colorful glass. there was a musician playing 90s covers in the main hall and it was so great. it is these things, all these things, always these things. moon song by phoebe. gold rush by taylor. all of folklore on repeat, beading bracelets, picking each color, enjoying how they shine.

over and over and over, what is life if not the little things.

ordering the perfect steak, the most delicious and refreshing zero proof drinks. we both feel like we have hangovers and we didn't even drink; we danced for four hours straight and I sang my absolute heart out in a stadium of other people living their best lives too. the catharsis of screaming all too well, the shared language of secret chants.

meeting the moment at midnight.


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